Parenting is one of the most puzzling experiences you can have because it doesn’t come with a manual. And it’s different from one parent to the other as everyone knows what’s best for their children.
So you shouldn’t beat yourself up trying to be that perfect parent for your kids; learn as you go. Children are wonderful; as their brains develop, they get used to how they are treated. If you are a strict, rigid parent always shouting and punishing your children, they’ll probably end up unhappy and withdrawn. They will learn to associate violence with conflict resolution.
This will lead them to fight other kids whenever they differ. However, if you nurture them correctly and lovingly, this can change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discipline them just use non-punitive methods. This is better as it helps build a strong relationship with your children. Here are a few things you can try.
1. Tell and show them you love them
Do you remember the last time you told your kids you love them? Children are vulnerable, and they get used to what they hear and see. This means if they are surrounded by love, they will be loving and vice versa. Hug them, give them random kisses and hold their hands. These affectionate actions will do more to show you love them than mere words will. Telling and showing them you love them makes them feel special.
2. Spend more time with them
As important as your career, job, and paying bills are, your children rank higher. However, it’s easy to get lost trying to provide them with a good life that you forget to spend time with them. So how do you make time for your little ones despite your hectic schedule? After work, try and have a meal together. This is a wonderful time to catch up and know how your kids are doing. Alternatively, if you get in late, try spending the weekend with your kids doing something they enjoy, such as watching movies, making crafts using building creatives, and more.
3. Offer guidance but don’t force it on them
As a parent, it’s your job to offer help whenever your kid needs it; however, as they grow, you will realize that sometimes they might not want your advice. in such a case, it doesn’t mean they don’t need your help they are just trying to figure it out on their own. Instead of forcing your advice on them, keep a close eye on what they are doing and offer help when asked. This will make them more independent, and they aren’t afraid of trying things because you are there for them.
4. Stay calm when they mess up
This is easier said than done, but when your child messes up, and they will, don’t lose your head. You will feel a flurry of emotions but try and stay calm. Getting worked up will only make things worse for everyone, and it won’t solve anything. Additionally, it will make your kids closed off to you because you never listen to them. Instead, take a second and calm yourself. Once you are calmer, explain what they did wrong and how they can rectify it. Punitive punishments don’t work nowadays and end up doing more harm than good. Instead, opt for consequences that are better and easier to understand for kids.
There’re a million more ways to connect and build a great relationship with your kid. Choose what works best for both of you. If you want to raise happy kids, making such efforts can make a big difference.
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